Day 6 of the Feel Good Blogging Challenge

Hello again guys , please excuse this late post, it would appear i am too wise for my own mouth since another wisdom tooth has managed to make my face swell up and ,e throw up ( so classy) I curently look like half a lego head

Soo todays challenge is to post a story of vulnerability . I think this is the hardest post yet m i had to really think about this one but then I found one ! Ok so if I haven’t told you for the millionth time , I’m dyslexic … not a shock there , I think I have spoke about it in pretty much every post! I dont find being dyslexic makes me venerable , In fact quite the opposite , it makes me a stronger person … it makes me who I am. However , there was a point in university that it did make me feel venerable. My final year for my BA we had different tutors , different campus , basically it was completely different to the previous two year I had done . This didn’t really bother me , I dont mind change . Anyway we had to come up with a concept for our final major project. ( eek .. scary .. a final project to get a grade for all my hard work ,, again this did not make me feel vulnerable ) As with any project I did research , tried to explore new ideas , look at different artist and then it came to me. Why not do a project on dyslexia? I looked into and found there was very little done on the subject in the form of photography. I thought perfect , this is what I am going to do!

Now for me I had only been diagnosed for a year maybe 2 so this whole world was new to me yet I still knew very little. I thought this is the perfect opportunity to find out more about me and others who are the same.. I had briefly done some self photography that touched on dyslexia the year before and i had received really good feedback. I knew this was going to be one bad ass project….. or so I thought.

So presentation time . I had done soo much preparation, I went through all my old school reports to find any common comments that teachers had left which would have pointed to dyslexia ( I was severely dyslexic yet it wasn’t until uni anyone found out , which for me caused a massive struggle within myself as I didn’t understand what was wrong with me ). my reports were basically coloured in with highlighters for the common really made me quite upset going through it all as it brought back soo much … but again this was not my most vulnerable. got all my research ready , ideas ready.. bring on the presentation!

I had briefly gone over my idea with one of the new tutors who didn’t really get what my idea was and then the week later I was pulled out of the class and into a room with two of the other new tutors ( one of these tutors was a representative for dyslexia by the way so i thought she would maybe understand). Well lets just say I do not cry in front of people , even as a child , a dog once bit a little hole in my hand and I didn’t cry , I just walked away full of blood and was like ’ daaadddd , that dog just bit me .. look’. So clearly I’m not a cryer .

So I sit there and go through my ideas YET AGAIN and I can see in their faces what I was saying was not going in ( dyslexic people do tend to have a struggle with communicating some things , however everyone else I spoke to about it seemed to understand) After I finish they basically say I dont understand. So I tell them I want to do a series of self portraits which reflect dyslexia and how it has affected me. tell me guys do you understand the concept ? Was I talking a different language? They then went on to ask me how I planned to do that so I explained I was going to experiment and see the outcome. they then went to point out every floor in my project ( which i had spent a lot of time and gone through a lot of emotion to get to this stage) and tell me that they dont think I should do it as It doesn’t sound strong enough and that they cant imagine the imagery . Now by this point I was in tears , it was frustrating trying to tell them over and over again I can do this , I know what I’m doing , it was like going back to high school all over again !

I found out through another tutor, one who knew my capabilities and me that this other tutor ( the one who represents dyslexia) that she didn’t understand my idea and that all she can imagine me doing was taking a photo of myself with numbers and words around me . How patronising is that ? this comment made me so angry. My tutor told me she knew I could do it and that this women didn’t have a clue . So what did I do ? I stuck to my guns! I did MY project how I wanted to and I didn’t care if other people didn’t understand it because I did. ( you can find the project here if you are interested )

Thank god I did , I had soo many people come up to me at the exhibition telling me they could relate to the images and that it provoked an emotional response. I was soo proud of myself for sticking to what I knew and creating something beautiful. I was so thankful for the friends and the other tutors who supported me . and i loved seeing the face of the tutor that did not believe in me on the opening. I never heard a ‘well done , or a ’ o see what you meant ’ , nothing , but for me that was satisfaction enough.

So if you can take anything away from this story .. other than how much I waffle on .. please take away this . As long as you believe in something you do , it doesn’t matter what other people think. If it makes you happy and proud to be associated with what you have done , then to me that is a point in your life where you have been successful.

Now I’m going to go take some pain killers and pray that my face will deflate and turn into a normal Sinead shaped head , thank you for reading my ramblings

10 Things you might not know about me

Welcome to day 4 of my challenge !

soo… today im going to tell you 10 “fun” facts about little old me.

No 1

I am / teach pole dancing , aerial hoop and static trapeze. I teach at a studio based in manchester worsley called Pole Sessions (In case you’re interested in classes I started pole dancing about 4 years ago. it may be more it may be less, time just seems to disappear but i think I started around the end of 2010. the next thing thing on my list to attack is fire dancing!! it looks amazinggg. although knowing me I will lose my eyebrows or set fire to my clothes …. maybe i should just leave it to the pros …. nah.

p.s. there is also a bronze sculpture of me somewhere in the world , how cool is that ? me and my friend had to model for it !

No 2

My eyes … what about my eyes? well there weird. If you know me then quickly think what colour my eyes are, ill give you 5 seconds.……. nope you’re wrong . truth is even i get confused with what colour they are , they seem to change depending on the light . they have a little yellow ring round the middle , then a greeny gray bit and then a dark blue/gray ring around the outside . It was really annoying as a child when you had to draw your eyes and they gave you like 4 different crayons , non of which that matched my eyes ( clearly traumatic for a 5 year old!). Cant believe how long I just spoke about my eyes!

No 3

I’m a bit of a crazy cat lady . I currently have 3 cats ( all crazy) . My partners parents have an Inn in the lake districts which has millions of wild cats/ kittens living there ( not millions but not far off ) i have managed to pretty much tame them all ( seriously they are more tame than my own cats) and they all follow me round and cuddle me when I’m up there . clearly you guys were not ready for how much of a crazy cat lady I am .

No 4
I loveeee haloweeeennnnn


I once had a baby otter for a few weeks! Yes thats right im like frickin snow white ! ( and also it would seem a rubbish rap artist) . As i mentioned before my partners parents on an Inn , well there is a barn there and I walked into it and noticed a big black fur thing in on the floor ( at first i thought it was a dead cat =( ) As i got closer it began to move slowly and then came running towards me =O it was a baby otter that had been washed away from its mama with the strong storms and wandered into the barn. we took it in and looked after it until we could find a place that would take care for the little dude . She was on tv and everything , her name is now santon and she will be released into the wild soon! yay , she also had an obsession with my slippers ! If you follow this link you can see the little dude! santon
No 6

I came down with pneumonia the day after my birthday party and was dressed as alice from alice in wonderland for 2 days because ” I thought I was hungover” and didn’t have the strength to get changed ( i was feeling ill before hand but i just thought it was me being hungover plus feeling a little under the weather ), it wasn’t till 5 days later when the doctor had to do a home visit did i realise i was seriously ill and rushed to hospital in an ambulance ( no i was not still dressed as alice , I had mastered the art of putting on pajamas….. also it was pretty awesome to be whizzing round in an ambulance.! … every cloud)

No 7

This links to No 6 , while I was going crazy with my fever i had a number of delusions. one that my friend kept sitting on my chest and squashing me .. the other that a space invader was coming to find me and steal my throat . it wasn’t until the light if day i realised it wasn’t happening and i stopped hiding from under my quilt.

No 8

I get a little freaked out by corn on the cob! I know it sounds crazy but i do !!! Its fine when there is corn attached but if I’m sat opposite someone with all the corn eaten and theres just the cob i have to cover it up .

No 9
I have been with my partner for 8 years now ! 8 years !!!! he is just as much of a weirdo as me!

No 10

I am a little weird and strange but i will seriously do anything for the people in my life ( even protect them from space invaders) and i think that makes up for my craziness !

so there ya go , 10 things about me ! I hope you enjoyed reading/ watching and if you dont want to talk to me anymore i understand hehe
Stay Strange people!

How to be a zombie

so its the third day of this feel good blogging and todays challenge is to teach you lovely people something. unfortunately since I have been up since 5 am trying to “eat brains” I haven’t really had time to come up with some amazing step by step blog of how to do something awesome . i would have maybe attacked a video blog on how to do some funky pole dance moves or maybe lighting things but sadly no time.. so what to do ?…

Well today I was a zombie , I had to go to zombie bootcamp and have my face attacked to look dead ( or in some cases looking like the day after the night before . Now again if I had time i would have done a video of how to move and act like a zombie, but since this is a quick tutorial I will just tell you how to make your face a zombie.

Step one
get some bad ass white contact lenses , you can try different styles or mix and match creepy contacts ( you don’t NEED these but they really do add to the dead look )

Step two

Get a green make up concealer . Now I learnt from today do not get to excited with this green! . It can go from cool zombie to rubbish incredible hulk if you attack your face with it . just stick to areas like under the eyes , maybe some areas you think that have too much colour ( cheeks , maybe forehead) again this is not to make you green but to make you lifeless so please do this lightly , If you feel your skin is lifeless enough then skip the green.

Step three

If you can get a thin foundation thats basically white apply that to your face how you would a normal foundation . If you do not have the foundation you can always mix baby powder and water to a thin paste and apply this .

Step 4

Using a pink first colour your whole eye area above and beneath do this lightly , its just a light tint to work with( not like some crazy pink but a subtle deep pink or a red) this is going to give you that tired look. now layer it up with Grays and purples until you get your desired look . you want to hollow out the eyes and make them seem sunken , focus on area closest to the nose and bring it out. blending these colours will give it a bruised effect.

Step five.

Using the same tones as used on your eyes ( perhaps minus the pink/ red) start drawing along your cheek bones . if you look at the diagram below the shaded areas are where you need to focus on . Also dont forget to blend this down your neck , use the dark tones to shade around your neck and collarbones to give that zombie look .

Step six

Now using a very thin brush paint on subtle vains, best places are under the eyes and neck. these only need to be light , they need to look real . you can see what i mean on the makeup I did last year on the neck and around the eyes on the images below

Step seven

Find blood ,….. and just throw it everywhere , the more blood the better . get it in the ears , on the hair round the mouth ,, everywhere you think a zombie would find blood . when applying it this sponge is handy for that extra creepy effect

Extra tip

You cant find any fake blood? all the halloween shops sold out and theres only them rubbish ones that look about as cool as a red felt tip ? No worries , make your own .

All you need is
- Red food dye
- Corn syrup
- Chocolate syrup

Mix all of it together andddd tada! you have tasty creepy blood .

Remember its important to not over do it , you still want it to look like you , just do it very subtly and you will be surprised how undead you actually look!

So yeah guys , this is a bit of an odd one but I have had so little time today and i thought i may share my new findings with you ! Also Halloweens round the corner so it may actually come in handy ( especially the fake blood bit !)

Life is our own story to make

Seconde post ( eek)!

So todays post I am going to attack you with what I am passionate about ( other than photography and swinging and climbing on various things). so yeah , I’m passionate about life. Now this sounds super cheesy but bare with me. There are a lot of things going on in my personal life which I dont want to bore you with but it really makes me appreciate living in the now .

Flash back ten years ago and I was a completely different person to who I am today , no I haven’t changed or tried to be someone different, I have just found the right path for the person I am becoming ( I’m not there yet I am still finding myself) . So why have I changed so much?.. lets face it most People say ” oh high school are the best days of your life” or ” I wish I could go back to high school” well thats not the case in my world . I mean I loved my friends and doing crazy stuff but non of the fun had was actually in school, in fact i pretty much hated it. My school wasn’t a bad one , the teachers were not nasty , I just always felt I didn’t belong and it wasn’t till I was at university that i understood why. Now I was a good student , I was in nearly top set for everything , passed all my GCSEs and never really got into trouble.. sounds like there was no problem. wellll…. have you ever been in a situation where you keep getting told “your not listening” ,”your not going to do well” , ” you have potential but you just dont try” , ” read the question properly” etc or you reports all saying the same thing ” Sinead is a pleasant student , she needs to talk more in class and needs to stop daydreaming as she is easily distracted”. I had one teacher tell me that there is no chance I would get in to top set because I don’t try hard enough ( loved the teachers face when I got in =p) . so yes these are all valid statements to a student , however they were not true , If anything I tried harder than the others to understand the lessons , I was always to worried to question what I did not understand as everyone else seemed to and I didn’t want to be the dum ass in the class. so yeah I hated being in school because basically the teachers kept moaning at me for doing thins I was not doing , ” you dont listen” I was listening . “you didn’t read that ” i had read it just not fully understood it etc. This feeling I got is what kept me from starting my journey of becoming me , because any time I made a mistake or tried to do something i was called up on it . I stuck to trying to keep my head down , avoid eye contact with teachers and just be a ” pleasant, shy ” student.

No I was never shoved into a locker , I just thought I would see if I could fit

So finally I left school and this pressure of fitting in began to leave as I could do the things I enjoyed … actually it was college I found photography ( accidentally) , I Became seriously ill when I was 17 with pneumonia , due to this I was unable to attend classes and missed so much of psychology they had to drop me from the course so little old me had to find something else to do and a friend of mine suggested I try it .. Helllo future career! Photography helped me express myself and create beauty which was also a kind of therapy for me for dealing with life. (can you believe I’m waffling on again ? sorry guys!)

So skip forward a few years it was uni that helped give me the power to fully live my life , I finally found out why I hated school , why it filled me with such stress and anxiety and pushed me into an emotional prison that stopped me from growing and voicing who I was. I found out that I was severely dyslexic ( this is an evil spelling for dyslexic people btw!) yes dyslexic , now i know some of you out there think its an excuse … well let me tell you now its not! I went through all of the education system thinking there was something wrong with me and that I was stupid, I feel if someone would have noticed this in school I would not have had the hate and feelings towards it that I do now.

Dyslexia is an abnormality in brain patterns ( not an excuse) I use different parts of my brain to compared to a non dyslexic brain to do the same job . day dreaming is common ,not because we are lazy or not listening , but because dyslexic people process things visually , if you start telling me a story i will be playing that story out in my head ( see i have my own 3d cinema in there hehe) finding out I was dyslexic was a massive help towards living , I now know there is nothing wrong with me , in fact I’m proud of it , its through dyslexia I have my crazy creative brain. I even did a Photography project for my BA ( you can find the project under my conceptual work on the site)

Now that I know why I am the way I am I have no fear of showing it anymore , I care little if people think I’m stupid or dont like me ( as I said in my first post I am often misjudged) and now I am over that fear I can live. I always try new things and experiment and attack new people ( in a friendly way … not a psycho way) I am even being a zombie tomorrow morning just because .

So yes if you take my advise its to live ! ( not zombie live but actually live life as full as you can) you never know what the future holds and it would be good to have some awesome crazy stories of things you did in the past . Find out what it is thats holding you back , other than the rubbish stories you tell yourself , and just go for it ! when you see things and think ’ Oh my god I wish I could do that” just do it. I have so many people come up to me with the classes I teach ( trapeze, aerial hoop, pole etc) and say , “oh I would never be able to do that “, ” I wish I could do that ” , ” I haven’t got the figure for it”.. Well guys these are the lies you tell yourself to stop you from living .So stop the lies and reach for the sky ( again I throw in a cheesy line , I do apologise !)

Keep living people ( unless your pretending to be a zombie at the weekend, then play dead)

Small girl BIG heart

Well this is my first real attempt at this blogging business so I do apologise if I waffle on at any point. soooo to introduce myself . my name is Sinead ( the Sin photography comes from the first 3 letters of my name noting to do with being a demon or anything .. incase you were wondering =p)

see … no horns! I have been attacking photography for many years , I studied it through college , uni and now as a career . As well as photography you may also see me swinging round hoops , dangling of trapeze and now and again, falling of poles . I’m not a crazy person if thats what you are thinking ! I teach these things to people at a dance studio .

see^ completely normal =)

Anyway , the reason I have finalllyyyyy “Manned up” to blogging is because I have started Alex Beadon’s “Feel Good Blogging 7-Day Challenge” . I have normally avoided doing stuff like this as being dyslexic my spelling/ grammar is much to be desired ( apologise if i have already shown clear examples of this … blame it on the brain) So I guess this blog is for me really to attack the world of the internet with my thoughts and ideas ( I’m going to apologise to my future self … sorry Sinead for waffling)

So I have been doing something amazing yet terrifying at the same time .. no nothing to do with swinging from ceilings ! I have been working on opening my own photography studio! yay! well.. sort of yay. its not finished yet and it has been a lot of hard work to get it looking like an actual studio . ( I would add photos but there on my mobile which does not appear to like me very much at the moment…. nothing to do with dropping it down the toilet.

I guess what I want people to take away from my blog / future blogs is to be your own inspiration. A lot of people tend to underestimate me or judge me to quickly especially when it comes to photography. whenever I rock up to someone and be like “hey I’m a photographer ’ I get “that” look . the ” oh really .. isn’t everyone.. I bet my phones as good as you ” look .. then they see my work and there attitude changes . Actually I see this quite a lot with other photographers when I shoot bands .. I love going to gigs and shooting bands but I find a lot of photographers , in particular the men ( not being sexist here its just my personal experience ) are so rude ! I mean one time a guy basically refused to shake my hand when , another time some dude wanted the spot I was shooting so tried to shove me out the way .. it goes on . again I’m waffling so yeah be your own inspiration , the girl I was years ago would not have dreamed of doing the stuff I do and taking the risks I take , I had to push myself out of my shell , way out of my comfort zone and learn of my own experiences how to be the me I am today… and I’m still learning .

Thanks for reading =D

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